Chains that Bind

The other morning I was walking our 70 pound Golden Retriever in our neighborhood. She has a 20-foot leash to give her room to roam while abiding by the leash law.  Maggie's favorite part of the walk is along the park.  We had been walking for 1.5 miles, typically the point where she slows down and is worn out.  On this particular day, a squirrel crossed her path.  She burst into a run towards it with an unmatched and uncontained energy.  She abruptly stopped when reaching the end of her leash, knowing her limit had been met; however, she pulled and pulled, not listening to my command to halt and leave it.  She was in a tireless PURSUIT of that which she loved- a squirrel.  She yanked me along the path, towards the tree.  Her attention was on everything squirrel.  I finally distracted her to the point where we could continue our walk home. 

I immediately heard a voice whisper to me, "do you pursue Me with the same passion as Maggie chasing after the squirrel?"  Of course, I had to answer it in shame.  I DO NOT.  I had to ask myself what the pursuit of Christ must look like to Him when it is done adequately by individuals.  I jumped to comparisons and excuses.  There are women in my circle who are way BEYOND the foundational understanding of Him.  They already know the measures of a Grace filled life with prayer, The Word, the daily steps to begin in Him and to walk with Him.  I WANT THAT.  I then went to all of the "if only's" in my own life.  If only I did not have a demanding full time job, a disabled mom, kids who were on the go, an attempted balance at being a good mom, wife and career woman, where I fail at every turn because I am a jack of all trades and a master of nothing.  It is like I am SO BOUND to the "busy"ness of the present and the guilt of an unforgiving past that my pursuit of Him is but a blip in my day.  I am chained by a 20 foot leash and my own selfishness is the master of my soul which holds me back from reaching His Cross daily and TOUCHING the INFINITE LOVE of Him.  I simply want to feel Him, to know Him, to love Him, to pursue Him with tireless energy.

Chains that bind...how do we break them?  It is like His grasp is so very close, yet we are pulled back to our boundaries of the world and we just can't hear Him, feel Him, REALLY know Him!   Pursuit of Christ should NOT be during the breaks of life.  Doing life should be breaks between the Pursuit of Christ. 

I am in a Bible study where Priscilla Shirer talks about how we place all of our perceptions, knowledge and experiences about God in a box.  We then place a lid on that box and "compartmentalize Him."  It is our limitation.   We live our lives based upon the three dimensional closed off view of Him. I don't see it the same as Priscilla.   I see God as EVERYTHING outside of the box and ME in the box.  Bounded by walls, enclosed in the dark, tirelessly kicking at the walls to break them, with a glimpse of Him through the tattered cardboard over time as others are looking in on me. I WANT a box with no lid!

Matthew West sings a song called, Forgiveness.  The lyrics weigh on my mind regularly. I've turned his lyrics into reflection, adding my own rendition of thoughts at the end of each line as I lean into Christ and ask Him to set me free from the battlefield of the mind.  I am responsible for allowing the enemy to keep me tied down.  This battlefield of the mind will crumble under the test of time and JOY in HIM will reveal itself...one day.

I do not want to be the prisoner of self.  I want to let His Mercy hold me and praise Him for creating me...I just have to learn to forgive me, to love me, to even like me!

Matthew West - Forgiveness ...

Forgiveness

It’ll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what it’s power can do
So, let it go and be amazed
By what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner that it really frees is you

Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Show me how to love the unlovable (I'm unlovable)

Show me how to reach the unreachable (I'm unreachable)

Help me now to do the impossible (Break these Chains that Bind)

Forgiveness

I end this blog with I Peter 1:8.  It is the scripture I carry with me daily in my pursuit of JOY in His mercy, His Love, His Grace:
Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy...

May anyone who is bound seek His Grace with me and understand the fullness of His love and His ability that which is beyond measure.  My prayer for you is that you see it too; that you feel Him, know Him, love Him and seek Him in an unbound tireless pursuit and that JOY is there for you when you reach Him too.