Lifted Up!

I was challenged to write a blog for Melissa Taylor's On-Line Bible Study over the book Greater, by Steven Furtick.   Melissa's website is found at MelissaTaylor.org.  The topic of discussion I chose this week is...  Lifted Up!  Steven asks us to consider what has lifted us up to be great"er."  This can be a person or even a scripture.

If you are reading this blog post, you will want to read an earlier post at my blog spot called "Points of Grace."   You will also want to follow the link to House On Oak Street later.  I can honestly say my journey to this Bible study and book, Greater, has been a series of divine interventions leading me to consider where I am in my "Lesser Loser Life" and to reflect upon my viewpoint of my own FAITH in this moment.

A few months ago, I subscribed to a ladies Yahoo group at church.  Upon signing up, I was asked why I wanted to join the group.  Thinking it was an email group for prayer and other sharing, among my elaborate outpouring of who I am in a 250 word limitation, I used the words..."I am broken."   Kaye, a ladies group leader and "one of a few" administrators of the Yahoo group replied to me personally stating that we are all broken.  She found me that Sunday in church and introduced herself to me.  It was after that that the Unglued bible study was offered at church where we studied and shared challenges and praises as discussed the principles and life lessons presented by author, Lysa TerKeurst.   That led me to Proverbs31 Ministries, then to Melissa Taylor On-Line and finally the Greater study!     All POINTS of GRACE along my journey. 

So what is it about Kaye that lifted me up to be greater?  The image above is on her blog@ houseonoakstreet.com.  Note:  Be Grateful.  This is a frame where she took plywood and painted it with chalk paint.  She shares HIS blessings on it through each season.  Kaye is a lady that has not given up on me (nor many others I am sure) during my struggles.  I have shared with her very raw, real and ugly details about my feelings, my story, my inadequacies and where I am as I seek JOY.   She continues to redirect me in doing away with the thoughts that are held captive by the enemy.  The Bible passages, the book suggestions, the constant attention to TRUTHS are all there for me as I look to her and focus on my accountability, prayer and requests to HIM.    Kaye is among the GreatEST!   

2 Corinthians 10:5

We demolish arguments and every pretention that sets itself against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to HIM.

Steven discusses being the guy "who has had to tangle with insecurities so ugly that some days they make (him) feel like (he is) not even a Christian..."  He goes on to discuss the systematic "sabotage of Gods plan for your life and God's purposes in the world."    I can only say that GOD has brought me to this place, where I stand as who I am.  Getting beyond the self-hate and realizing I'm OK to be used by HIM is a process of obedience, truth and a battle fought in the mind.

I am not sure how it will play out, as Kaye asks me so often "what does that look like?"  I fumble across words that make sense, but honestly I do not have a CLUE what my purpose for Christ looks like.  What the Holy Spirit IN ME feels like.  How to be the LIGHT and JOY that others see.  I am scared that if I can't picture it, I can't achieve it.  AND that I'm not good enough FOR IT.

So this is my prayer...   May HE continue to challenge me, to guide me, and may HE give strength to the Kaye's of the world who would love to be able to just pound into my head...  Don't you just get it?  It really is that simple!

Blessings amidst the storms bring on the sunshine.  What a blessing it is that God LIFTED ME UP with KAYE.  One day, I will pay it forward...I just have to be healthy enough spiritually in the LORD to make the difference for someone.

 

Chains that Bind

The other morning I was walking our 70 pound Golden Retriever in our neighborhood. She has a 20-foot leash to give her room to roam while abiding by the leash law.  Maggie's favorite part of the walk is along the park.  We had been walking for 1.5 miles, typically the point where she slows down and is worn out.  On this particular day, a squirrel crossed her path.  She burst into a run towards it with an unmatched and uncontained energy.  She abruptly stopped when reaching the end of her leash, knowing her limit had been met; however, she pulled and pulled, not listening to my command to halt and leave it.  She was in a tireless PURSUIT of that which she loved- a squirrel.  She yanked me along the path, towards the tree.  Her attention was on everything squirrel.  I finally distracted her to the point where we could continue our walk home. 

I immediately heard a voice whisper to me, "do you pursue Me with the same passion as Maggie chasing after the squirrel?"  Of course, I had to answer it in shame.  I DO NOT.  I had to ask myself what the pursuit of Christ must look like to Him when it is done adequately by individuals.  I jumped to comparisons and excuses.  There are women in my circle who are way BEYOND the foundational understanding of Him.  They already know the measures of a Grace filled life with prayer, The Word, the daily steps to begin in Him and to walk with Him.  I WANT THAT.  I then went to all of the "if only's" in my own life.  If only I did not have a demanding full time job, a disabled mom, kids who were on the go, an attempted balance at being a good mom, wife and career woman, where I fail at every turn because I am a jack of all trades and a master of nothing.  It is like I am SO BOUND to the "busy"ness of the present and the guilt of an unforgiving past that my pursuit of Him is but a blip in my day.  I am chained by a 20 foot leash and my own selfishness is the master of my soul which holds me back from reaching His Cross daily and TOUCHING the INFINITE LOVE of Him.  I simply want to feel Him, to know Him, to love Him, to pursue Him with tireless energy.

Chains that bind...how do we break them?  It is like His grasp is so very close, yet we are pulled back to our boundaries of the world and we just can't hear Him, feel Him, REALLY know Him!   Pursuit of Christ should NOT be during the breaks of life.  Doing life should be breaks between the Pursuit of Christ. 

I am in a Bible study where Priscilla Shirer talks about how we place all of our perceptions, knowledge and experiences about God in a box.  We then place a lid on that box and "compartmentalize Him."  It is our limitation.   We live our lives based upon the three dimensional closed off view of Him. I don't see it the same as Priscilla.   I see God as EVERYTHING outside of the box and ME in the box.  Bounded by walls, enclosed in the dark, tirelessly kicking at the walls to break them, with a glimpse of Him through the tattered cardboard over time as others are looking in on me. I WANT a box with no lid!

Matthew West sings a song called, Forgiveness.  The lyrics weigh on my mind regularly. I've turned his lyrics into reflection, adding my own rendition of thoughts at the end of each line as I lean into Christ and ask Him to set me free from the battlefield of the mind.  I am responsible for allowing the enemy to keep me tied down.  This battlefield of the mind will crumble under the test of time and JOY in HIM will reveal itself...one day.

I do not want to be the prisoner of self.  I want to let His Mercy hold me and praise Him for creating me...I just have to learn to forgive me, to love me, to even like me!

Matthew West - Forgiveness ...

Forgiveness

It’ll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what it’s power can do
So, let it go and be amazed
By what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner that it really frees is you

Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Show me how to love the unlovable (I'm unlovable)

Show me how to reach the unreachable (I'm unreachable)

Help me now to do the impossible (Break these Chains that Bind)

Forgiveness

I end this blog with I Peter 1:8.  It is the scripture I carry with me daily in my pursuit of JOY in His mercy, His Love, His Grace:
Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy...

May anyone who is bound seek His Grace with me and understand the fullness of His love and His ability that which is beyond measure.  My prayer for you is that you see it too; that you feel Him, know Him, love Him and seek Him in an unbound tireless pursuit and that JOY is there for you when you reach Him too.

Be Still

One of two young boys was in the doctor’s office while my son was awaiting his appointment this week.  Shortly after being called back, we heard the six year old crying and exclaiming he did not want a shot.  The cries became yelling screams and the office staff was bewildered as if an untamable spirit was in the room.  We heard the youngster running around the room, beating the walls upon each round, continuing to scream in his attempt to run away. 

Clearly, I heard “RUNAWAY” as I pondered his situation.  Within a thirty-minute period, the two boys returned into the waiting room as if nothing occurred and everything was “fixed.”

When my son and I went back to see the doctor, we started discussing the activities of the little boy.  The doctor stated that eventually his dad held him in a tight hold.  Once he was still, it took two seconds to administer the shot and his response was, “it was really that easy?  I’m not going to be sick?”

“STILL,” I heard it…the whisper above the white noise in my head.  Psalm 46:10- “Be still and know that I am God.” 

We all go through times where we are just like that little boy.  The RUNAWAY moments may not be physically running from something.  Runaway thoughts are often times more exhausting and dangerous than the physical act of running.  When circumstances are strong holds that cause you to flee, it is important to know that you are running from Grace.   Simply STOP amidst the winds that are ripping through your heart and let Mercy hold you.

BE STILL

RUNAWAY moments that roll into days

Thoughts held HOSTAGE shaking one’s faith

Overwhelming FAILURE repeatedly plays

Hopelessly “GIVING in” to the enemy’s scheming ways

Moments of STILLNESS beneath the Tree of Life

Clinging to the CROSS amidst the noise, the fear, the strife

PRAYERFUL whispers, cast upon leaves in the Wind

Steadfast in FAITH, they find their way to Him

He will move this MOUNTAIN if in the VALLEY you fall

To your knees in praise for the STRIFE in your walk

Praising Him in GLORY for the good, the bad, the all

His LOVE will meet you there; all you have to do is call